


The Serpent in the Coffee Cup

by Hokuto



Category: Paradise Lost - John Milton
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Comment Fic, Gen, Nonnies Made Me Do It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-07-14
Packaged: 2018-02-08 20:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hokuto/pseuds/Hokuto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yes, it is a Paradise Lost coffeeshop AU.  Sadly, no, it is not in blank verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Serpent in the Coffee Cup

Lucifer sat in the middle of the grimy floor, surrounded by broken, rat-gnawed chairs and wobbly tables. Cobwebs thicker than an unabridged 19th-century French novel hung in the corners, the walls and floor were tiled in faded yet still hideous 1950s shades of pink and green while a popcorn ceiling brooded low and heavy with dust over his head, and the glass in the front window had cracked long ago and been graffiti'd over. In the corners, his erstwhile coworkers sobbed or stared blankly at the decaying remains they had been dumped in.

Lucifer looked at them with disgust and pity mingled. They had fought well by his side, taking part in all of his protests, signing his petitions, even joining the short-lived hunger strike, but in the end, they had buckled under the pressure from the more complacent employees and failed him. Now they were miserable creatures: bereft of paychecks, twenty-percent discounts on the pastries, insurance, the right to take home handfuls of sugar and cream packets - they didn't even have dental anymore. _No dental._

He wasn't about to stand for that.

He got to his feet and went to each of them, coaxing them up and handing the crying ones crumpled napkins to use as tissues. After he had gathered them all in the least disgusting section of the abandoned shop, he remained silent for a few moments, glancing from face to face and essaying a single sigh, until he was sure he had everyone's attention. Then he sighed again and began to speak.

"My friends," he said, "my comrades - no, I should say, my brothers and sisters - it's true that we have fallen on dark times. To be cast out from full-time employment, banished from our very livelihoods and condemned to the soul-grinding toil of starting a new business in _this_ economy, truly is the most dire of punishments. A punishment hardly fitted to our crimes - mine, merely daring to claim a promised birthright; yours, only to support a just and honest cause. For these honorable actions, what have we received? Dust and roaches, reproaches and spiderwebs! And yet, my friends..." He paused, then spread his arms wide. "And yet here we have, hidden in our despair, an opportunity our opponent could never have anticipated. For if we cannot serve in Heaven's Own Beans -"

He stopped, basking in the rapt stares of his audience, and smiled.

"- then at least we shall reign over One Hell of a Coffeeshop."

**Author's Note:**

> My other contribution to the FFA birthday fic fest! Please feel free to imagine the hot customer/deity of your choice coming in to the refurbished shop and eventually making out with Lucifer.


End file.
